A few weeks ago I made a decision to go on silent retreat for three days before I head to NM. I figured I could use the time to sit with the grief of my final week in NJ: saying goodbye to the church I served for three years, my 9 year old dog Anoukie, my companion and Love and special friends and family. My heart would be filled with grief, so I booked time to enter into deep Silence, into Stillness and listen.
I am glad I did. However, just like everything I do I am surprised by what has happened. My heart is filled with grief. Tears ran freely on my final day.
But when I entered into silence tears did not come. I can feel the grief there as a companion. Yet, all I have wanted to do was weave. So I picked up my hand loom and spent my first day of silence weaving. This beauty arrived.
I was drawn to brown. As I wove I knew the grief was shifting. The browns were being complimented by color. Not just any color but ancestral color: yarns that I recently found left over from my grandmother’s knitting. The warp itself is ancestral yarn.
When I took the weaving off, flipped it over, and looked I saw a beautiful NM landscape. Yes, like many of my weavings, I wove it upside down. The top of the weaving is the bottom of the finished product. My soul wove together my ancestral line and NM. I am headed to ancestral Land, not this lifetime’s but previous. I am going to meet myself across time, across dimensions, across space.
I truly am Weaving my Tapestry of Wholeness as I journey.